Tag: motherhood

The Days I Realize I am Truly a Mother

you are only humanThe last two weeks have been tough on me.

Over the past 8 months, I had a great nanny who was very good with my son, and was a very good fit for our family. I had slowly slipped to the comfort zone of depending on her and knowing that she was always there for us. So, when she left without notice, or even giving us time to find a new one; to say that I was in shock was an understatement.

Anyway, we have since recovered and are doing quite well, even without a nanny. Though am a little (very) exhausted by the end of the day, we are still surviving. Lowell is going to daycare and things are running more smoothly now.

Last Tuesday was particularly rough. I was exhausted at work on Monday and slept like a log. First, I woke up late. Second, the baby had caught a cold and he didn’t want to be woken up. I had to prepare his food, milk, porridge and everything else he needs for daycare, and it was a pretty rough morning. To make matters worse, we had a lot of work pending on short deadlines and had not left the keys to the office for the staff.

Phone calls were coming in left, right and center and things did not go as well as expected.

Usually, I shower first, daddy next, then we wake up the baby, give him his breakfast, then off we go. So, after taking a shower, I usually wear an old sometimes dirty and rather unpresentable t-shirt that I change after feeding the baby. As any mother would know, wearing your white shirt while feeding your baby porridge on a tense morning is not ideal.

The old t-shirt was not the problem on this Tuesday. In fact, I had worn a rather nice top, but it was DIRTY. The bigger problem was that I completely forgot to take it off, and change into my nice blouse that I had already ironed.

To cut the story short, I went to work on that fateful Tuesday, late, wearing a mismatched outfit, topped with a DIRTY t-shirt. True story.

Only such moments help you realize that you have truly become a mom.

NB: I did nothing to alter my look throughout that day, and my day turned out to be rather awesome.

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Where and How to Ask for Help When Motherhood Overwhelms You

motherhood is overwhelmingMy son has recently turned two and has decided that tantrums are a way of life now.. Imagine crying, rolling on the ground, screaming and endless whining. This week has been a little better actually, but last week was kind of overwhelming.

Being a mother comes with its joys, and also a fair share of trouble, guilt and heartache. Over the past few weeks, my son has developed a habit where instead of drinking his milk or water, he wants to spend hours pouring the drinks from one cup to another. Whenever I bring him something to drink, he rushes to the kitchen, brings another cup (or two) and begins his tricks. It drives me crazy. The worst of it comes at night when he wants to be left at the dinner table performing his liquid tricks, while everyone is in bed. You can imagine the crying once I take away his cups. Most of last week I went to bed angry because of the battles I had to endure with him. Sigh!

lowell and his liquidsThere he is at a friend’s house, doing his thing.

Motherhood can be overwhelming.

It is not your fault that you feel overwhelmed. Many of us are going through the same thing. It comes with the territory.

Are you overly emotional?

Are you always angry/sad maybe?

Are you overly sensitive?

Are you anxious all the time?

Do you feel like a volcano waiting to erupt? Or a ticking time bomb?

Are you always looking out for someone to annoy you so that you can snap at them and release the pressure?

These are all signs that you could be overwhelmed. I have gone through each of these and I know how bad it feels.

However, one simple thing can help you get over this feeling. Ask for HELP. Many of us find it so difficult to admit that we cannot do it all and that we actually need help raising these little beautiful angels aka terrorists.

Instead of releasing that anger towards your baby, your partner or your boss, try these useful tips to help clear your head and get you back on track.

  1. Ask your partner to watch the baby for a few hours. When my baby was around 1 year old and I was a stay-at-home mom, I would take Saturday afternoons off just to go get my hair done or to have sometime to myself. While baby and daddy played, I would use this time to focus on myself and things that made me happy. I would come back feeling rejuvenated and ready to tackle the challenges of raising my boy.
  2. Grandparents. This is one of my absolute favorites. I am already looking forward to the holidays so I can take my son to visit his grandparents and let him stay for a week or two. We have done this twice already and my baby is so happy with my mom and we are left with time to relax and just be. We use this time to focus on our marriage and our relationship as a couple. I miss my baby terribly, but I know by taking some time off, I am able to become the best version of myself, which is so helpful for my baby and my family.
  3. Friends. Sometimes all we can get is only 2-3 hours free time while our besties watch the baby on their day off. If you have friends who are mothers too, they might understand your need for some space and are willing to babysit the baby for a few hours. Do not be afraid to ask your friends for this favor. What are friends for, if not to watch the baby while you go have a manicure or drink a glass of wine?
  4. Daycare. If worse comes to worst and you have no relatives or friends nearby, just take the baby to the local daycare center. He will have fun playing with other kids and you will have your much needed space.
  5. Professional Counseling. If you feel absolutely overwhelmed or depressed, please seek professional help from a counselor. This can help you from spiraling into depression and other mental issues.

Related: Why showing up for others is of absolute importance

How to throw a stress-free birthday party for your child

Asking for help is not always the simplest thing, but you just gotta do it. Pick up that phone, call your mom, your sister, your friend and ask them for help. Trust me, they want to help. All you gotta do is ASK. Do not wait until you are so depressed that they have to take you to a psychiatric hospital. Then, you will be of no help to your baby or your family. Take the time off to reduce the stress and let someone handle the baby for one day, or a week (like me).

You will come back feeling much more relaxed and with the power to be a super mom all over again.

Who do you ask for help when motherhood overwhelms you? How do you do it? Share.

I Have Totally Become My Mother

I have become my motherJust to start on the right foot, my mother is an absolutely great woman and I am honored to be stepping into her shoes, because I could never fit into them.

I am starting a new series on the blog where I will be highlighting ways that I have adopted my mother’s character and embodied it into my own life. Sometimes the posts will be funny, like today and other times the post will be serious and heartfelt. Join in and you might find some interesting ways that you have totally become your mother.

I remember a few years back while still in campus, I woke up one morning very happy and excited. Those were the days when I viewed life with joy-filled eyes and everything seemed to make happy. I walked to the kitchen happily singing along to Rose Muhando’s ‘Nibebe‘. It was surely a happy morning. I peeled the green bananas sitting on the counter and went ahead to boil them for breakfast. With a little salt and a spoonful of margarine, they can be very tasty.

As mouthfuls of the bananas were washed down with sugarless African tea, I thought to myself, ‘I am totally just like my mother.’ She enjoys this breakfast very much and drinks her tea without sugar.

My hubby (then boyfriend), did not comprehend how a normal person could perceive this as breakfast, let alone enjoy it. He didn’t think it was funny either. Fast forward to two weeks ago and he was requesting boiled green bananas for breakfast. “Who knew this day would ever come?” I thought to myself. The only question I had: Is he becoming my mother too?? Go figure.

In what ways does your character resemble your mother or father?? Please share….

Read this:My Jumia Kenya review from real life experience

Jumia dresses ad

My go-to easy breezy hairstyle, perfect for busy working mums

Motherhood is craaaaazy…This is a well-known fact and I have come to appreciate it even more. What would make a writer like me suddenly stop blogging for I don’t know how many months????

You guessed right-Motherhood. I have been super busy now that am a working mother to an almost two year-old boy. Oh my Oh my..how days keep flying by and I can’t seem to hold onto any moment..however beautiful.

In order to keep up with this busy lifestyle, I have learned a few tricks that make my mornings less stressful. I definitely do not have time to attend to an elaborate hairstyle, while dealing with my crying son when am leaving in the morning. Lots of mommy bloggers have tips on how to simplify the morning routine and I have been applying them religiously.

I have recently discovered the high-top bun hairstyle, which has made my life so much easier.

high top bun 2

It is super easy and super chic. It makes me look like am calm and collected, and like I took time to look good, even when I actually didn’t. Just comb your hair lightly, hold it high with a thick hairband (as we call it) or a hair scrunchie, then roll the hair into a bun around the band. That’s it, no stress, no hassle. In a matter of minutes am ready.

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Add a dash of lipstick or gloss to the lips, and you suddenly look like a super chic, stylish mom. As much as Lowell (my son) likes to mess with my hair, this is difficult to mess with and I can redo it in 10 seconds when need arises. Check it out below, don’t mind the scarf. I wear it because my office is quite cold.

high top bun front
Final result

Try it, you will love it.

Hope to get my blogging groove back asap to keep you engaged. Thanks loves!

A House Full of Boys

ImageI come from a family of five..Me, 1 sister, 1 brother, mama n papa. This translates to 3 girls as compared to 3 boys in the house. Considering that women run the house, we ruled our household. We made all the decisions on what to cook, when to do laundry, which places to visit, favorite restaurants etc…

To add on to this, all my cousins have given birth to girls as their first children meaning that my side of the family is filled with girls.

When I discovered I was pregnant, me and hubby almost instantly started thinking of a girl. We wanted to name her after my mother in law. We even started calling her by her name. 30 weeks into the pregnancy, I went in for a gender scan and I was surprised to discover I was carrying a healthy boy. I was surprised but happy.

I don’t know what turned the wheels, but that scan really made me excited. I was immediately in love with my boy. The ‘she’ that we had used all along turned into a ‘he’. We soon had a beautiful name and I started buying boy clothes. Knowing how much hubby and his mama were close, I knew that I was so blessed. They say that a bond between a son and a mother is pretty strong.

Fast forward 4.5 months since he was born and I am so in love.

My life has changed from one ruled by girls to a house full of boys. At least in my house there are two boys against one girl (me).

Am a little scared of course, because they love each other so much. Its still a little early but I can tell that football rules in this house. Action movies are also popular around here. Lowell laughs when his daddy is watching action movies. I think he loves the crazy sounds.

I love my boys so much. It tickles my heart to see father and son so happy together. I can only hope that a girl will join me in future.

For now, it is just a house full of boys.

Lowell: 4 Months

The days keep rolling and my baby keeps growing….

(See what I did there…rhymes I tell you!)

Anyway, Holy Cow!!!!My baby is 4 months!!!How did this happen people? Where did the days go?

ImageHe is such a big boy.

All I can remember are the days when he did not know how to poop and he struggled so hard!Oh my, that was the first two weeks. Oh, and the gas that used to drive him crazy. How can I forget how he used to sneeze and milk would come out of his nose and I would get so scared. I think I had a small heart attack the first time this happened. Thank God for his nanny who helped me out. (I just smiled thinking of the nanny issues I’ve had over the past 4 months, am on the second one now but things are getting better by the day).

Thankfully, Lowell has outgrown all that and he now just a happy, cute little 4 month old boy.

The best mommy moments for me are when he is laughing. His laugh is so funny, I just wish all of you could hear him chuckle. When he laughs, I definitely start laughing too and sometimes it escalates to a laughing contest between daddy, mommy and baby. He makes us so happy this boy. I have to admit he is the happiest baby I’ve seen so far. He rarely cries, he smiles at everyone, even strangers. There were a few days last week when he became so fussy and teary. I was worried but he is back to his happy old self now. His happiness makes for a happy mama too.

Sleep-wise he is doing good. He sleeps at around 10 -11 p.m. after his last poop of the day. Sometimes he goes up-to midnight. He usually nurses first and mostly falls asleep while nursing. From here, he sleeps for 4-5 hours straight and wakes up at around 3-4 a.m for 15 minutes of feeding. Wakes up again at 5, 7 and 8.30 to nurse and gets back to sleep almost immediately. His official wake up time is 10 a.m in the morning. He takes 2-3 naps during the day: at 12, 3, and 6 p.m.

Bath time is between 4.30 and 5 p.m. He loves the water. Have I ever told you how difficult it was to bath him the first time I tried???Story for another day. Anyway, with the help of my sister in law, I now bath him with ease and we both enjoy it.

Feeding: He is a good feeder but not the best am sure. He nurses regularly throughout the day but I have a feeling that he feeds best at night. Sometimes, he nurses for only 5 minutes and sometimes for more than an hour continuously. He is gaining weight slowly and sometimes I think half a kilo is too little for a whole month but the doctors tell me he is fine. (Small mother=small baby is a statement they like to use).

Lowell is very active. He likes to move his hands and legs a lot. He loves to kick his legs around and even at night when he wants to feed, he wakes me up by kicking me hard. I love it, it is so much better than crying. He likes to play with his toys which currently include a stuffed puppy and some colored plastic shakers. They go straight to the mouth. He also rolls to his side and has a super strong neck right now. He sits very well when propped up with a blanket. Oh, I almost forgot, he loves to stand. Emphasis on loves. His legs are so strong, it scares me. When I hold him in a standing position on my lap, he tries to climb over my body. Its amazing!Those legs will walk sooner than later.

We spend the day smiling, laughing, cuddling, hugging, kissing, feeding and sleeping with some diaper changes in between.

He loves life and he is such a happy baby. Thank you God for Him. I love him so hard.

Happy Birthday my Prince.

Linking up here

6 Magical Ways Having a Baby has Changed My Life

They say that motherhood changes you.

Well….

Its true.

Am totally changed. For the better of course. Having a baby turns your life upside down. It is no longer as it used to be. Its a new normal. But the new normal is awesome. Its filled with smiles and cute faces and some dirty diapers. Its the greatest kind of normal. And these are some of the highlights of how my life has changed after having my handsome cute little one: Lowell who will be 4 months next week.

Image1. Sleep is not that important.

I do not remember the last time I had a full night’s sleep. A full night??? Oh, that’s too much…lets talk about 3 continuous hours of sleep…a girl can dream right?? The first 2 weeks were the toughest because the baby did not differentiate night and day. He would sleep all day, then from midnight to around 5.30 a.m, he would be awake, forcing us to stay awake at that time too.

2. Multitasking is just a tip of the iceberg.

You thought you can multitask..think again. Try doing 5 things at once. I sometimes find myself, nursing baby, watching tv, eating, reading emails on my phone and chatting with husband all at once. And am usually comfortable doing all these. Talk about super powers of motherhood.

3. A hungry mother is an angry woman.

While breastfeeding, you never know where the food is going. Hunger is just part of you. You get so hungry that you get angry at everyone and everything around you. All you want is food and you gotta have it at whatever cost. Making milk is a tough job.

4. Protectiveness is in woman nature.

I cannot say enough on how am protective of my baby and my family nowadays. You have to demand that people wash their hands before touching the baby. Some get it, some don’t. Someone once told me that ‘the baby is wearing clothes’ so he does not get the point of washing hands before touching the baby. Go figure!!! Anyway, it comes with the territory. Am usually like, “That’s delicate, handle with care people”.

5. Women are amazing.

I used to appreciate women but after having a baby, I adore them. All women, those who are trying to have babies, those who want none, those who have many, all of them. We are all amazing and above all, we run this world, let no one tell you otherwise.

6. Am happy almost always.

A baby changes you, I can say that a hundred times more and it would still be true. I no longer fret over the small things like a clean living room or a neat closet. Haha! We were just discussing this the other day with my husband and we discovered that we no longer fight or get angry with each other. Once the baby smiles at you, its all good with the whole world. It does not matter what is going on around you.

I know I’ve not talked about the body changes but that is a post on its own. This list is in no way exhaustive. There are so many more changes in life after a baby. I will tell you about them as life unfolds. I do love my baby to bits and I love the woman I have become because of him.

How has motherhood changed you? Or if you are not yet a mother, how do you think it will change you?For daddy’s, how has fatherhood changed you?

Weekly things

So Yesterday I went to church after a long time. I was waiting for the baby to get a little older before exposing him to the world. To be honest, I don’t think I went to church more than two times while I was pregnant.The big bump usually restricts movement and the hormones make it difficult to make a choice of which places to go to. Anyway, I really enjoyed the service. Lowell loved it too but he got startled whenever there was clapping. I enjoyed the fact that I took 4 hours of my day and focused on something else other than me, my family or my work. Focusing on something bigger than myself and my life. As you can see in my earlier post on my words for 2014, I chose FAITH and this was one of the steps for me to live by my words.

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                             Love the stripes on him

 

I also want to raise my baby in a Godly way. I want him to know God and to know that life does not just revolve around him. I want him to know there is something bigger than Him. I also want him to know that God is watching over him.Church is always good, everyone should try it sometime.

Its Monday, a new week and these are the goals for my week:

1. Organize my Closet.

Its in a mess. Baby clothes, my clothes, hubby’s clothes…..all over the place. I do need to organize and get a little orderly. Organizing and neatness falls to the bottom of the to-do list when you have a baby but I’ll try my best.

2. Make a new dish

That’s totally my wish for this week. I have noticed that we are eating the same meals day in, day out. In three days, we are through and we start repeating all over again. I want to make something new or at least newish this week.

3. Give more hugs.

Husband, baby, friends and whoever else comes my way, I do intend to hug a little more this week. If we meet along life’s path this week, please give me a hug. It will make my day and yours too hopefully, a little better.

I love lists. I’ve also found that I tend to accomplish more when I have a list of what I want.

What are your wishes for this week??What do you want to achieve?

L I V E & F A I T H

ImageHappy New Year Everyone.

Its beautiful!

Its 2014.

I already feel what an epic year it already is. There is so much optimism going round and am so part of it. I want it to last throughout the year.

I have chosen two words to be a guide for me through 2014:

LIVE & FAITH.

First and most important, I want to live my life. I want to live it deliberately and not on autopilot. I want to have intentions for my day and not just react to situations that come. I want to enjoy everyday activities. Activities that might seem mundane for someone who lives on autopilot.

I want to notice the little things that make me smile. I do not want to just let it all pass by. This is so important to me because my baby Lowell is growing. It is his first year of life and I want to see it, feel it, live it such that it does not just pass me by. Am ready for this.

ImageSecond, I chose the word faith because it is through faith that we learn to let go of control and give it to God.

Am trusting on Him this year. I do not need to be in control of everything. He is protecting me and my family. He is watching over me. Knowing this allows me to go out and live life. I do not have to be afraid or scared about what tomorrow brings because am well taken care of. Am the daughter of the King. He gives me everything I need and More. All I have to do is enjoy life and use it to touch others.

I have FAITH in Him and so I can LIVE beautifully!