My son has recently turned two and has decided that tantrums are a way of life now.. Imagine crying, rolling on the ground, screaming and endless whining. This week has been a little better actually, but last week was kind of overwhelming.
Being a mother comes with its joys, and also a fair share of trouble, guilt and heartache. Over the past few weeks, my son has developed a habit where instead of drinking his milk or water, he wants to spend hours pouring the drinks from one cup to another. Whenever I bring him something to drink, he rushes to the kitchen, brings another cup (or two) and begins his tricks. It drives me crazy. The worst of it comes at night when he wants to be left at the dinner table performing his liquid tricks, while everyone is in bed. You can imagine the crying once I take away his cups. Most of last week I went to bed angry because of the battles I had to endure with him. Sigh!
There he is at a friend’s house, doing his thing.
Motherhood can be overwhelming.
It is not your fault that you feel overwhelmed. Many of us are going through the same thing. It comes with the territory.
Are you overly emotional?
Are you always angry/sad maybe?
Are you overly sensitive?
Are you anxious all the time?
Do you feel like a volcano waiting to erupt? Or a ticking time bomb?
Are you always looking out for someone to annoy you so that you can snap at them and release the pressure?
These are all signs that you could be overwhelmed. I have gone through each of these and I know how bad it feels.
However, one simple thing can help you get over this feeling. Ask for HELP. Many of us find it so difficult to admit that we cannot do it all and that we actually need help raising these little beautiful angels aka terrorists.
Instead of releasing that anger towards your baby, your partner or your boss, try these useful tips to help clear your head and get you back on track.
- Ask your partner to watch the baby for a few hours. When my baby was around 1 year old and I was a stay-at-home mom, I would take Saturday afternoons off just to go get my hair done or to have sometime to myself. While baby and daddy played, I would use this time to focus on myself and things that made me happy. I would come back feeling rejuvenated and ready to tackle the challenges of raising my boy.
- Grandparents. This is one of my absolute favorites. I am already looking forward to the holidays so I can take my son to visit his grandparents and let him stay for a week or two. We have done this twice already and my baby is so happy with my mom and we are left with time to relax and just be. We use this time to focus on our marriage and our relationship as a couple. I miss my baby terribly, but I know by taking some time off, I am able to become the best version of myself, which is so helpful for my baby and my family.
- Friends. Sometimes all we can get is only 2-3 hours free time while our besties watch the baby on their day off. If you have friends who are mothers too, they might understand your need for some space and are willing to babysit the baby for a few hours. Do not be afraid to ask your friends for this favor. What are friends for, if not to watch the baby while you go have a manicure or drink a glass of wine?
- Daycare. If worse comes to worst and you have no relatives or friends nearby, just take the baby to the local daycare center. He will have fun playing with other kids and you will have your much needed space.
- Professional Counseling. If you feel absolutely overwhelmed or depressed, please seek professional help from a counselor. This can help you from spiraling into depression and other mental issues.
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Asking for help is not always the simplest thing, but you just gotta do it. Pick up that phone, call your mom, your sister, your friend and ask them for help. Trust me, they want to help. All you gotta do is ASK. Do not wait until you are so depressed that they have to take you to a psychiatric hospital. Then, you will be of no help to your baby or your family. Take the time off to reduce the stress and let someone handle the baby for one day, or a week (like me).
You will come back feeling much more relaxed and with the power to be a super mom all over again.
Who do you ask for help when motherhood overwhelms you? How do you do it? Share.