Category: Mr b/f

Letters to my future husband #7

First, big news!!Me and the b/f are now living together! We are more than b/f- girlfriend. We have been together for over five years and it just felt right. This is it people, me and him are a forever thing!! And so this letter is meant for him and I hope that I can write more of these just for him.

Dear L,
Hi honey. First off, I have to say thank you. Thank you because you have shown me what it is like to love. Five years!!!5 freaking years,,and we are still together. When I first met you, I thought that it was just a campus thingy but we outgrew that. We have fought and broken up a few times. We have been through a lot, and by a lot: I mean a whole lot more than we could have ever imagined.

However, what I treasure most about our thingy is how we make each other laugh. You are funny and crazy. Your jokes crack me up! Even when am mad, it is very hard not to laugh at your crazy jokes. It makes it awkward for me to make a serious point or even be mad at you for more than a heartbeat. You must be very proud of that!!But, I hate that you like to startle me, something that am totally afraid of!

Baby, you make it easy for me to love you. You make it so much fun. You make me feel like a 3 year old. I can talk about anything with you. Whether its new businesses or crazy PMS. I love that I can be crazy, I can be myself around you! And you love me for who I am.
I do feel happy and honored to be with you!
Love you pumpkin, sweetpie, honey, darling, watermelon, sugar, and any other cute names you might think of!!

Always, M.
Ok, people, hope you have collected yourself after my big news. Its been 5 days now of living together and its been awesome, except the double amount of laundry.Anyway, I hope you are having a fabulous week and an amazing August!!

Of Temples, Jeans and Nature Walks

My weekend was just cool!!Lots of walking around and seeing nature. On Saturday, I spent the day with my better half!We had a great morning and then I slept in the afternoon. Much needed rest. Did laundry in the evening and spent the night relaxing. Sunday was more eventful since I had to go take care of a family member. I hope she gets well soon. Here are some of the shots from the weekend!

1. Me, walking around in my b/fs tshirt and jeans. And a backpack too. Outside a Hindu temple in our town.
2. Seeing some of the beautiful buildings with gorgeous architecture in our town.
3. 4. 5. 6. Beautiful shots of nature. Just so you know, our town is a mix of urban and rural so I get to enjoy farm life just a few minutes from the town. I love living here!

                                                                  weekend update

The last 72 hours: Photo Overload

Ok, in these parts, a weekend that begins with a public holiday on Friday is termed as a long weekend. So, on Friday we had lots of fun with b/f taking photos of the national celebrations. For more on that, you can find pictures on our other blog Thika Live.
1. Taking a shortcut through a maize plantation.

2. Me, being all tomboyish. I know I cropped the rest of the photo but I was pointing at a big sack which I was about to jump. This was at b/f’s parents.

3. Just chillin!This bird was so relaxed.

4. Me, being all goofy!

5. Colorful: there’s green everywhere.

6.7.8: Meeeeee!Who wants a piece of me?

It was a good weekend!Lots of resting and walking and laughing but now I have a cold. But we gonna conquer that too, with a beautiful week!

When words flow into a Poem…

You came to me in the most subtle of ways,
I was only 20 when we met,
I loved the way you pursued me,
You chased and never gave up.
I missed you when I could not see you,
I sometimes wished i didnt,
but I did anyway,
The notes, the surprises, the gifts,
the public hugs and kisses,
you holding my hand,
looking at me with the sweetest of eyes,
Me, falling in love with you.
It took time but I enjoyed that time.
I loved you and I still do.
Its beautiful, the way you refuse to say you do,
yet you take care of me,
every night, you call me.
but only time will tell me.
I will forever be grateful for the chance to know you,
and to make memories with you!

I cannot Control Others

As mentioned in previous posts, there are certain beliefs that guide me thru life. One that I have discovered lately is that I am only responsible for my own thoughts, words and actions. Even if I go back to the moon and back, I can never control another person’s thoughts, words and actions.
I know this, but I still allow another person’s actions to influence my moods and happiness. I know sometimes, it is difficult to just be open about our feelings and our mistakes but today am gonna be vulnerable and expose my feelings.
Over the last couple of weeks, Mr b/f has really been acting weird and all crazy on me. Usually, it reaches a point where I just wanna talk and tell him all that is going on in my head. We then hold a meeting, where I do almost all the talking and at the very end, he says that he knows he is wrong and that he will put in more effort to make things better. We then go to sleep and the next day is as if nothing happened. Things get back to normal and its just like before we had the talk. Two days later, he does something that makes me angry and I cry, usually after he leaves for work. In the evening, we talk about it, he acts as if nothing happened and does not even apologize. The apology only comes when I ask about the same thing later. It has now become a cycle where I am only waiting for something else to happen, I cry, we talk and everything goes back to the way it was. I hate this situation and I know I deserve better.
However, one thing that I have realized is that I always hope that he will change and that he will show more willingness towards making things better. When he does not change, I then try to make him change by trying to treat him so nicely just to see if he will reciprocate.
But now am done, I have finally accepted that I cannot control his actions and that I cannot make him do something he does not want to do. Maybe he just does not want this to work or this is who he is. So, I accept it and I will not try to make him change any more. This does not mean that I do not love and care for him. In fact, I do, very much and this is why I will accept his choices. And then choose how I want to proceed with my life from there.
I have come to know that, we must always give the other person the freedom to make their own choices and if their choices do not make us happy, then we have a choice to make too. Look for something else or stay and accept that this is the person they have become.
I accept that I cannot change my boyfriend and I am not in any way responsible for the choices he makes. I am only responsible for my own choices.

Anger, Fighting and Ultimatums

Tuesday was a long day, infact the past two weeks have been long ones. If you have been reading my blog, then you know, me and MR b/f moved to a new town, new house and completely new environment. I took this as a positive thing and have been doing so all this time but lets say this is not exactly what he has seen is as.
The fight has been brewing all through last week and only blew up yesterday night. He has been all quiet on me, pretending to be happy, yet i know he is not. So everyday, I would try to talk to him and ask what is wrong but he would not speak to me. He was completely acting weird.
For us, talking has always been an easy thing. When we first started going out back in 2008, I was the one who was always afraid of opening up and sharing my feelings. But he taught me how to do that, he showed me how to let him in and thus we became very close. So for me, it is completely weird when he is the one who cannot share his thoughts and feelings.
The fight was all about sharing the deepest emotions and being able to reconnect at a deeper level. So we talked, argued and then talked some more. He said he needed time to figure out what he wants. The problem is we live together, so i decided to just stay out of his way, not speak about the issues we discussed and just give him space and time. I told him that I need to know how much time he needed and he said two weeks would be enough. I hope and pray that everything will be alright.
I understand that relationships are a lot of work and am willing to put in enough effort but i need to see him putting effort too.
Sorry for the whining and venting but i needed to and this blog provides the perfect opportunity to do so.
The following quote guides me through all this,

Source: via Jeni on Pinterest

Friday Fill-Ins

1. How in the world did I fall in love so deeply. I keep on thinking about how this happened but i like it.

2.  A great future is all i can see in front of me.

3. Life’s Awesome.

4. Am planning a picnic lunch for Mr b/f’s Bday next week.

5. That was where we first kissed.

6. The bedroom is where I think of as “our place”.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to a quiet supper at my house, tomorrow my plans include seeing Mr b/f and Sunday, I want to start packing!

I Miss You Like Crazy

Two weeks and i cannot take it anymore, i miss Mr b/f. So instead of drowning myself in worry and tears, i decided to search Pinterest for images that represent what am feeling inside. So here we go and hope it relates to others who miss their loved ones.

Source: None via Millie on Pinterest
Source: via Millie on Pinterest
Source: None via Millie on Pinterest

Lastly, this is the image am holding in my mind so that when i see him, i do not forget to cherish him and all the great moments spent together.

My Weekend

As i wrote earlier on Friday, this weekend was supposed to be filled with all kinds of activities. So here is a way to document and share with my readers what happened during the weekend,

Friday: Ok, I know it was too early to start the weekend but i started mine then and i never stopped. I left my house at around midday and took the long ride home (my parent’s house). Its around a two and a half hours drive to my home town and i reached home at around 5.30 PM. I was welcomed by hugs from my family members, my mama, sis and very cute niece who is almost five years now. By the way, my mom and dad were busy preparing for a wedding the following day where they were the best couple. The evening was filled with laughter, lots of food and lots of fun. We slept at around 11 after a hearty evening.

Saturday: This was the long awaited day and my parents woke up very early since they were supposed to be at the bride’s home by 7.30. After they left, i slept a while longer and then woke up to get ready for the wedding. I decided to take my niece, Mercy so that i would not be lonely and that she would enjoy herself too. The wedding was absolutely beautiful. Simple but very entertaining and awesome. I loved it and felt a deeper longing for my wedding day. We danced, laughed and filled our stomachs and had a great time. And not forgetting that my mom and dad looked gorgeous and i loved how they played their part. Day well spent.

Sunday: Woke up at 8 and started getting ready for the journey back to the city. I left with my sister at around 11 and i decided to first go and visit Mr b/f since i had not seen him for a week. He is actually already at the city where we will be moving to next weekend. We decided to use the afternoon looking for a house. The search was long and tiring but we have some hope now. Otherwise i had a great time with him but i still miss him so much.

That much looks like my weekend but i can’t wait for this following one. I know it will be tiring but it will all be worth it. I hope to have a blissful week ahead and i hope you do too.
Kisses n love ya.