Category: love

What am Loving today

Its midweek already and that means that the countdown to the weekend is on. Today, instead of pinning some beautiful Pinterest finds, I decided to just write about the things that are making me happy this week. I know I have said this in many other posts but I just have to say it again. Sometime, it is just awesome to sit down and look for things that are making you smile, making you laugh or just keeping you peaceful.
So without further ado, these are the things that am loving right now:

1. Am loving the rains. I got rained on yesterday and I know I should be sad but am appreciating the change in weather. Its good fro me but it is even better for the farmers who are planting right now all around Kenya.
2. Am loving that am taking my driving test tomorrow and I know am gonna do very well. I always wanted to learn driving and now I have. Funny enough, I love. Cant wait to have my car and drive it. I love that its been so much fun.
3. Am loving the time we’ve been spending with my b/f. Watching soccer, laughing, watching movies, cooking and just fooling around. Am loving that we miss each other when we are apart. Am loving that we are enjoying each other so much more.
4. Am loving time spent with my best friend. I love understanding one another and sharing things that we could not share with anyone else.
5. Am loving that the stats on my blog have gone up noticeably over the recent past. I love it when people read random things I write. I appreciate you my readers.
6. Am loving my life in general right now. Am loving how I am capable of soothing myself when things don’t go as expected. Am loving how I easily get to see the good in everything.
7. Am loving ME. Just being Millie, everything about me.
8. Am loving this quote;
Love you.

If we went for Coffee Today


Loved it, a little tired but doing well,
Hope you had a good day too,
Been long since we’ve talked.
Coffee tastes great and am happy that you are here.
I have missed doing something with you.
Its good to know that you took time to come,
Am grateful for you!

If we were to have coffee today, I would have such little to say.
Am just having a quiet time here.
In real life, its not that quiet. Driving lessons, time with in-laws, lots of walking around, stall at work.
Lots has been going on but over here am taking it easy.
Here, I choose to take it easy. I choose to enjoy time here and listen to the silence in the blogworld.
But tomorrow, it is a new day. Mid-week, Infact.Maybe some noise but not guaranteed.
Love you and it was fun having coffee with you!
Lets wait for Wednesday!

Weekend and Birthday Recap

Hey people, (I wish you could hear me say this), it would be loud and cheery. I had the most fun weekend ever. And my fears about having a birthday unnoticed were totally pointless. My previous post explains what I wanted for my birthday on Sunday and I can say am satisfied. It is amazing how the Universe can surprise you when you let go of the control and fear.

On Saturday, we had a party with my friends and it was total fun. This crew that I was partying with is the best. We have been friends since I was in campus. This is the place where I also met my boyfriend so I think Campus was totally great. The party was at one of my friends house and it rocked. The drinking and dancing was awesome. Lets just say, I loved it.

Sunday, we went to visit my boyfriend’s parents and we had so much fun. One thing that I must say is that am so thankful for his family. They treat me so kindly and they genuinely care for me. I completely and totally love them and I know they do too.Spent time with my nephew, Leon. He is 9 months old and so adorable. Will get pictures soon. Nothing moves my heart like babies. So innocent and their laughter, so infectious.

In short, I had so much fun and I feel so blessed. Am thankful for the grace and the opportunity to turn 25. I can only think of the great year that is beginning now. Happy birthday to me and thank you to Mr b/f for making my special day really special.

Scintilla #11: Story from another Life

Hey my lovely readers, hope your week is going great and that you are enjoying it. Lots of happenings in this corner of my world but am gonna be ok. Scintilla is over and am sad. Just today and that it. I loved this project and hope to participate in more like this.
Prompt: Tell a story that you haven’t told yet. Give it a different ending
  than the one that really happened. Don’t tell us where you start
  changing things. Just go.
I wake up and its still dark. I know I have not slept for long. I glance at my phone and its only been two hours. I cant sleep anymore. It feels like there is something going on in my head. Is that someone drumming? In my head? Feels crazy.
I have cried my eyes out. I dont think it is even possible for me to cry anymore. I am tired of all the crying. I am tired of all the tears and the pain and the craziness.
I then start dreaming. I dream of a large field. It is filled with sunflowers. Beautiful and yellow. It is morning and they are opening up. To the beautiful sunlight. It is a gorgeous day and I take it all in. I take one flower in my hand and fix it in my hair. I fumble with it but cannot get to do it. Then, I feel a warm hand on my neck. 
The flower is no longer in my hand but he takes it gently. He fixes it on my hair and then turns me around. I turn back really easily. He is so strong. I look at him and I see the sun shining in his eyes. His hair graciously flowing and his skin so supple and dark. 
When he leans in and kisses me, thats when I discover am not dreaming. It is just me in another life. Where you and I live beautifully. And sunflowers wake us up. We enjoy watching them opening up to the sun. It is just like we have opened our hearts to each other. I love you, thats all I can mumble.

Scintilla #10: Heartbreak

Hello Tuesday, a beautiful day here with lots of sun and lots of activities. Today we wanna go deep and talk about heartbreak. As promised earlier, I do not want to post painful posts so am gonna try to write from a cool place in my heart. Where heartbreak brings better things and opens doors to better love.
Prompt: Talk about breaking someone else’s heart, or having your own heart
I broke someone’s heart. Yes, I am a heart breaker and I am sorry that I did it. We met in my first year of university. Lets call him V. V was short and handsome. He was always sweet to me. I had not known him for a long time before I accepted to be his girlfriend.
Up to this day, one thing that am always sure of was that V loved me. He loved me deeply. He always said that I was his wife to be. He took care of me. He cried with me. He bought me gifts. He treated me really nicely and with respect.
I thought I loved V too but I discovered later that I never loved him. I just liked him and thought he was really nice. I never found saw him hot or sexy.I was never attracted to him sexually. It was more of a friendship rather than a relationship to me. 
I tried to break it off at some point, and V said he would kill himself. That is when I started getting afraid. I was afraid that he would do something crazy if I ever left him. So, I started resenting him. I avoided him, I tried to act distant so that he would end it himself but he never did.
And then I met someone who gave me the courage to get what I want. Someone who made me feel sexy and fun and outgoing. Thats when I knew that I had to break V’s heart. When I told him it was over, he told me he would kill my boyfriend. He said that he would do anything to keep us apart but he never did. He was heartbroken and am sorry I broke his heart.

Scintilla #9: 23 Things that Tickle my Heart

Hello gorgeous people. Am thankful for you today and really hope your weekend was fabulous. Three days absent from Scintilla, Is that commitment or what?? But am letting myself off the hook. I know I’ve spoilt myself but its ok. Am back with 23 things that tickle my heart and my soul. At first, I wanted to write about words that I love but then I changed my mind. I wish to let you into my heart and discover what tickles it, what makes it smile and what makes it feel connected to my soul. Enjoy
1. Sunny days
2. Girlfriends (I once had none and now I cant get enough of the ones I have)
3. Tight but well fitting jeans
4. Seeing a man watching me, with a little bit of lust yet gently
5. A warm manly hand on my face
6. Long, blank but honest stares into the eyes
7. Meeting people and hitting it off so fast
8. The moment that I think, “my life keeps getting weirder and weirder
9. Soft kisses on my neck
10. Deep kisses on my mouth
11. Making love (yeah, am corny like that)
12. Inside jokes with people I’ve known for a long time
13. Holding hands in public
14. Affection
15. Attention, not too much, just enough
16. Sleeping in someone’s arms
17. Soothing words or music
18. Chocolate yoghurt
19. Freedom
20. Romantic movies (just watched, The Vow and loved it)
21. Relaxing, swimming, taking walks
22. Romance
23. Peace of mind, body and soul

Scintilla #8: My Tribes

Throughout my young life, I have belonged to several tribes which I have often used to describe myself. This post explicates these tribes.
List the tribes you belong to: cultural, personal, literary, you get the drift. Talk about the experience of being in your element with your tribes.
Culturally, I belong to the Kikuyu tribe in Kenya. In our country, there are more that 42 tribes which are actually small groupings of people depending on the language they speak, their culture and where they came from historically. I love my tribe, no argument. However, in our country, politics have become a tribal affair. People hate each other just because one comes from a different tribe. In 2007, we had a general election and when a person from my tribe won, other tribes ganged up against the Kikuyu and this caused a lot of civil unrest. Meaning that people fought and people died. With such happenings, it has become more and more difficult to identify with my tribe. It is not that I am not proud of it, it is just that I do not want to be labelled as tribal. It has become very difficult to draw the line between identifying oneself and being tribal. Anyway, I was born a Kikuyu and always will be.
Personally, I like to attach myself to the optimism tribe. The tribe that looks at the glass half full instead of half empty. I have always known I belonged to this tribe but it has not always been easy attaching to my group. At times, I have been stressed, tearful, sad, lonely and abandoned my tribe. Let me tell you, it is like leaving you family and walking away. When these feelings attack me and all I can see is the negative, it is like am down with the flu. I feel suffocated, I cannot breathe. I know that I have to find my way back to my tribe. 
There was a time in my life (not too long ago), that I belonged to the brokenhearted tribe. Then I joined the feel sorry for myself tribe. I have also at some point joined the loner tribe. But I always go back home. All these seem foreign to me and I can only pass through them as I find my way to my family. I love my tribe and I am proud to be a member of the optimism tribe.

Scintilla #6: Beautiful Days

It is Monday and I am so grateful for being alive. I am grateful because I get to see another beautiful week. I get to experience the joy of breathing and eating and walking and learning how to drive. Yes. Finally, I enrolled for driving lessons and am loving it. Its part of my 25 before 25 project and that means am headed in the right direction even if I waited till the last minute. To reiterate yesterday’s prompt, dreams do come true especially when you want them so bad.
Today’s Prompt: 2. What does your everyday look like? Describe the scene of your happiest moment of every day.
I like to think myself of an evening person but lately, I have come to see the beauty in mornings. When asked to describe the happiest moment in my day, I do not have a specific answer. My day is filled with little snippets of joy that make up a full/whole/complete happy day. This is just a preview of these moments.
-Scene 1: Breathing in the fresh air when I wake up in the morning. First things first, I always say a prayer of thanksgiving acknowledging all the blessings in my life. It might be just saying thanx for getting to see a new day or a whole list of things I appreciate. None is better than the other as long as it is a prayer of appreciation. I love this scene in my day. It brings me to a new level of alignment and I am able to face my day with hope.

– Scene 2: Doing all the things that we consider normal yet are not so normal. Eating, taking a shower, walking around, working, reading, listening to music, and many more. These are things I enjoy doing. Everyday, I wake up and I expect to have food on the table. I consider this a normal thing, yet there are people who sleep hungry. With this in mind, considering this part of my happy scenes is no exaggeration. I have come to a place where I appreciate my life for what it is. I know I could spend my life complaining and sulking, but when I look around, am still blessed. So much so, that I often laugh at myself for complaining and being sad at times. These small things make me happy.
-Scene 3: This often comes late at night, when I have eaten, watched a movie and want to sleep. My phone rings. I reach for it and I know there can be only one person calling at that time. The one who calls everyday before they sleep. Before I sleep too. For many years now, I get this call. He asks how am doing and we talk about our days. We then say good night. Even when angry, even when things dont look so good but more importantly when things are going well. I love this call and the caller too. It is the best scene of my day and it is most certainly the simplest yet the most pleasurable.


Scintilla #5: The Impossible Dream

I know I skipped yesterday but I just had so much stuff to do and I had to take a break because the day 3 post was really painful for me. I want to change the course of this project and I will only write of those stories that touch my soul. The stories that make me smile and hope they make you smile too. I hope I can keep that promise to you and to me.

Today’s Prompt: What is One Massively Impossible dream you’ve always had?
One thing that you must understand about me is that I love to dream. I not only dream at night, I also dream during the day. I dream as I walk, I dream as I eat, I dream as I go through everyday. I also highly believe in my dreams. I believe that none of them are impossible and that they are coming true everyday. All I have to do is open my eyes.So, instead of writing about the impossible dream, I choose to write about the dream that is closest to my heart.
I dream of my future children. I know am only 24, almost 25, but I do all the time. I dream about a baby girl. Her name is Aria. She has big beautiful eyes and her smile melts my heart. I dream of the first day that I get to hold her. I feel her soft hands touching my cheek. I can smell her and it touches my heart. I dream of all the days we will spend playing around and talking and laughing, being a mother and daughter. I dream of you my beautiful Aria.
I dream of a baby boy, I am yet to decide on his name but I love him as much. I dream of his little feet. I dream of his soft cry. I hear you in my sleep. I think of you as I go through my life. I dream of you loving soccer, and music and anything that you desire. I dream of your soft hands holding mine and us walking into the sunset. I love you my little boy.
I dream of your father my children. I do this every single day. I spend some time just thinking and dreaming about him. I dream of his big heart and his beautiful soul. I dream of his romance, I dream of his love. I dream about us making love, I dream about us laughing and creating a beautiful life for our children. I dream of our wedding day. I dream of his eyes, his scent, his stomach, his shoulders. I dream of his laughter, I dream of his tears, I dream about the strength of his feelings, I dream about his hugs and kisses. I dream of my future husband.
I keep dreaming, because I know you are all part of my life. I dream because I know, as I live my life, my dreams are coming true in each moment. This is not an impossible dream, it is MY DREAM. The true dream, the lofty dream that keeps my soul alive.

Scintilla #2: I Couldn't do It Without You

No one does it alone. Write a letter to your rescuer or mentor (be it a person, book, film, record, anything). Share the way they lit up your path.
I remember that September afternoon in 2007. It was sunny outside and I was just relaxing on my bed. This was a campus room and I shared it with four other girls. One was my best friend, the other two were my friends. It was not too big, neither too small. I loved it although I missed privacy at times.
I remember this was one of those days that I wanted privacy. I was reading a romantic novel. I was so engrossed in it and I did not want any interruptions. However, my wish was not granted for very long as one of my roommates came back. 
I remember it so well, it seems just like yesterday. The way you walked into our room, laughing with my friend. At first, I did not even want to look up because the story was too captivating. One of lovers, one of a fairy tale. I just wanted to stay in the novel-life where everything ended so perfectly, where everyone lived happily ever after.
I remember your face, as you came to my bed and asked what I was reading? Why I seemed so busy, as if the novel was part of the final exam. I did not want to speak to you, but you said it with such charm that I just had to answer. I remember you, trying to make me laugh, telling me that you would bring me a novel titled, “The World’s Greatest Love”. 
I remember me smiling at you and wanting to laugh with you, and wanting to hold onto that moment for eternity. I remember, with such vividness, the light in your eyes. I remember, with a smile, the echo of your laughter.  Oh, how I remember, the way I pretended to not feel anything when you left. 
Years Later, I still remember, that day in September when I met you for the first time. You lit my path then and that light only grew bigger, until it became a fire. It burns in my body, within my heart and forever in my soul. 
I remember.