Category: heart

Scintilla #10: Heartbreak

Hello Tuesday, a beautiful day here with lots of sun and lots of activities. Today we wanna go deep and talk about heartbreak. As promised earlier, I do not want to post painful posts so am gonna try to write from a cool place in my heart. Where heartbreak brings better things and opens doors to better love.
Prompt: Talk about breaking someone else’s heart, or having your own heart
  broken.
I broke someone’s heart. Yes, I am a heart breaker and I am sorry that I did it. We met in my first year of university. Lets call him V. V was short and handsome. He was always sweet to me. I had not known him for a long time before I accepted to be his girlfriend.
 
Up to this day, one thing that am always sure of was that V loved me. He loved me deeply. He always said that I was his wife to be. He took care of me. He cried with me. He bought me gifts. He treated me really nicely and with respect.
 
I thought I loved V too but I discovered later that I never loved him. I just liked him and thought he was really nice. I never found saw him hot or sexy.I was never attracted to him sexually. It was more of a friendship rather than a relationship to me. 
 
I tried to break it off at some point, and V said he would kill himself. That is when I started getting afraid. I was afraid that he would do something crazy if I ever left him. So, I started resenting him. I avoided him, I tried to act distant so that he would end it himself but he never did.
 
And then I met someone who gave me the courage to get what I want. Someone who made me feel sexy and fun and outgoing. Thats when I knew that I had to break V’s heart. When I told him it was over, he told me he would kill my boyfriend. He said that he would do anything to keep us apart but he never did. He was heartbroken and am sorry I broke his heart.

Scintilla #9: 23 Things that Tickle my Heart

Hello gorgeous people. Am thankful for you today and really hope your weekend was fabulous. Three days absent from Scintilla, Is that commitment or what?? But am letting myself off the hook. I know I’ve spoilt myself but its ok. Am back with 23 things that tickle my heart and my soul. At first, I wanted to write about words that I love but then I changed my mind. I wish to let you into my heart and discover what tickles it, what makes it smile and what makes it feel connected to my soul. Enjoy
1. Sunny days
2. Girlfriends (I once had none and now I cant get enough of the ones I have)
3. Tight but well fitting jeans
4. Seeing a man watching me, with a little bit of lust yet gently
5. A warm manly hand on my face
6. Long, blank but honest stares into the eyes
7. Meeting people and hitting it off so fast
8. The moment that I think, “my life keeps getting weirder and weirder
9. Soft kisses on my neck
10. Deep kisses on my mouth
11. Making love (yeah, am corny like that)
12. Inside jokes with people I’ve known for a long time
13. Holding hands in public
14. Affection
15. Attention, not too much, just enough
16. Sleeping in someone’s arms
17. Soothing words or music
18. Chocolate yoghurt
19. Freedom
20. Romantic movies (just watched, The Vow and loved it)
21. Relaxing, swimming, taking walks
22. Romance
23. Peace of mind, body and soul

Letting Go..

I know and i have read in many books and articles that letting go is one of the healthiest things that a human being can do. Letting go is a choice that more often than not we choose to ignore. Most of the times, i find myself holding onto things that only make my life more difficult. Instead of making the right and easier decision, i choose to stick with the past, one that only brings in more heartache and pain.
I know that we sometimes make the choice to stick with some things because they are the only thing we know. The familiar is sometimes the most comfortable for us even when it continues to hurt us. For example, people choose to stick with bad relationships because that is the only thing they know. Their partner, however bad, is the only person they know. In the end, one chooses to continue being hurt instead of moving to newer things.
I know that we sometimes stick with the old stuff because we feel that when we let go, we loose ourselves. For example, letting go of the pain of losing a loved one sometimes seems like letting go of that person. It seems like that pain is the only reminder we have of the person we love.

However, in the past few months, i have discovered that letting go does not necessarily mean abandoning certain things but releasing the tension and the pain in our hearts. It means that we are free to experience new things because we have created space in our lives. Our hearts become lighter and we can be able to laugh genuinely and love deeply.

I know, letting go is not easy but it is totally worth it. It gives us a chance to live our lives in a better way and with easier, freer days. So, i wish that we could all let go and feel the freedom and peace that comes with the ultimate letting go experience.

With love and Kisses.

What it takes to let someone into my heart..

Am the kind of person who is very open to people. I admit that i trust very easily and sometimes people take advantage of this trait. But this is part of me and am not planning on changing it. Deep down in my heart, i really think that all people are good but they change depending on their circumstances.

I believe my heart is delicate and should be taken and held gently. This is why it should take some time before i let someone in. However, contrary to this, it sometimes only takes a few moments before i let someone in.
When i met Mr b/f back in 2008, that first moment, i felt something in my heart. I felt as though i’d known him the whole of my life yet it was the first time i set my eyes on him. (I will tell the story of us someday, keep waiting.)
So, before i let someone in my heart, there is something that must click. They say when you know, you know. Its not about the other person but how your heart responds. Its like its giving you some kind of permission to let someone in.

I know sometimes, we have defied what our hearts say about particular people. When the heart says no but we go ahead and let that person in, this is a recipe for disaster. I have experienced this with some people who end up hurting me. After doing the evaluation, i realize that i let them in without the heart’s permission.
I know you still want to know what it takes for me to let someone in my heart. Well, its all about that first time we meet and the hearts clicking. I have found that sometimes that a person may not have the “ideal” character but when the hearts click, it becomes easier to let them in.

It also depends with how far am ready to let them in. In the long run, i choose what my heart likes and what it clicks with. Thats it and it works for me.
photos from photobucket