Enjoy your weekend!
Sometimes we just need someone who can tell us things as they are. Tell it just like it is and get on with it. Well, am giving it to you straight today!!
Sometimes we are too subtle or too calm and collected with our friends and relatives. Sometimes we are too diplomatic with our blog readers or just people in general, to an extent where it is harmful.
Laziness is one thing that truly truly bugs me. Remember how some inspirational books ask you to find that one thing that truly bugs you in the world, and find a solution to it. This is it for me. Of course there are a couple of more issues, but laziness is definitely on top of that list.
Have you ever encountered someone who is just so freakin’ lazy and keeps on complaining and blaming anyone and everything in their path. At such times, I wish I had four, (no, make those ten) hands so that I could slap such a person with all of them at once, to get them out of the slumber.. Yeah!It’s that bad.
I know people who keep trying and even when they fail, they get up and try again. One day, such a person wakes up and realizes that the one time they wanted to give up, but kept on trying, they became successful.
Hardwork does pay: couple this with working smart and you will be on your way to true success. I am a true testament of this.
I know that sometimes we all fall off the wagon and sleep in or party for a full weekend straight, and this is absolutely normal. But come Monday, you wake up very early, you roll up your sleeves, and you get to work. This is the only way you will find satisfaction in life and eventually true success.
The following book can help you find motivation to get out of the house and work you ass off as you move towards your success. More books available HERE.
I only wish you the very best, today and in all of your life.
My son has recently turned two and has decided that tantrums are a way of life now.. Imagine crying, rolling on the ground, screaming and endless whining. This week has been a little better actually, but last week was kind of overwhelming.
Being a mother comes with its joys, and also a fair share of trouble, guilt and heartache. Over the past few weeks, my son has developed a habit where instead of drinking his milk or water, he wants to spend hours pouring the drinks from one cup to another. Whenever I bring him something to drink, he rushes to the kitchen, brings another cup (or two) and begins his tricks. It drives me crazy. The worst of it comes at night when he wants to be left at the dinner table performing his liquid tricks, while everyone is in bed. You can imagine the crying once I take away his cups. Most of last week I went to bed angry because of the battles I had to endure with him. Sigh!
There he is at a friend’s house, doing his thing.
Motherhood can be overwhelming.
It is not your fault that you feel overwhelmed. Many of us are going through the same thing. It comes with the territory.
Are you overly emotional?
Are you always angry/sad maybe?
Are you overly sensitive?
Are you anxious all the time?
Do you feel like a volcano waiting to erupt? Or a ticking time bomb?
Are you always looking out for someone to annoy you so that you can snap at them and release the pressure?
These are all signs that you could be overwhelmed. I have gone through each of these and I know how bad it feels.
However, one simple thing can help you get over this feeling. Ask for HELP. Many of us find it so difficult to admit that we cannot do it all and that we actually need help raising these little beautiful angels aka terrorists.
Instead of releasing that anger towards your baby, your partner or your boss, try these useful tips to help clear your head and get you back on track.
- Ask your partner to watch the baby for a few hours. When my baby was around 1 year old and I was a stay-at-home mom, I would take Saturday afternoons off just to go get my hair done or to have sometime to myself. While baby and daddy played, I would use this time to focus on myself and things that made me happy. I would come back feeling rejuvenated and ready to tackle the challenges of raising my boy.
- Grandparents. This is one of my absolute favorites. I am already looking forward to the holidays so I can take my son to visit his grandparents and let him stay for a week or two. We have done this twice already and my baby is so happy with my mom and we are left with time to relax and just be. We use this time to focus on our marriage and our relationship as a couple. I miss my baby terribly, but I know by taking some time off, I am able to become the best version of myself, which is so helpful for my baby and my family.
- Friends. Sometimes all we can get is only 2-3 hours free time while our besties watch the baby on their day off. If you have friends who are mothers too, they might understand your need for some space and are willing to babysit the baby for a few hours. Do not be afraid to ask your friends for this favor. What are friends for, if not to watch the baby while you go have a manicure or drink a glass of wine?
- Daycare. If worse comes to worst and you have no relatives or friends nearby, just take the baby to the local daycare center. He will have fun playing with other kids and you will have your much needed space.
- Professional Counseling. If you feel absolutely overwhelmed or depressed, please seek professional help from a counselor. This can help you from spiraling into depression and other mental issues.
Related: Why showing up for others is of absolute importance
How to throw a stress-free birthday party for your child
Asking for help is not always the simplest thing, but you just gotta do it. Pick up that phone, call your mom, your sister, your friend and ask them for help. Trust me, they want to help. All you gotta do is ASK. Do not wait until you are so depressed that they have to take you to a psychiatric hospital. Then, you will be of no help to your baby or your family. Take the time off to reduce the stress and let someone handle the baby for one day, or a week (like me).
You will come back feeling much more relaxed and with the power to be a super mom all over again.
Who do you ask for help when motherhood overwhelms you? How do you do it? Share.
Just to start on the right foot, my mother is an absolutely great woman and I am honored to be stepping into her shoes, because I could never fit into them.
I am starting a new series on the blog where I will be highlighting ways that I have adopted my mother’s character and embodied it into my own life. Sometimes the posts will be funny, like today and other times the post will be serious and heartfelt. Join in and you might find some interesting ways that you have totally become your mother.
I remember a few years back while still in campus, I woke up one morning very happy and excited. Those were the days when I viewed life with joy-filled eyes and everything seemed to make happy. I walked to the kitchen happily singing along to Rose Muhando’s ‘Nibebe‘. It was surely a happy morning. I peeled the green bananas sitting on the counter and went ahead to boil them for breakfast. With a little salt and a spoonful of margarine, they can be very tasty.
As mouthfuls of the bananas were washed down with sugarless African tea, I thought to myself, ‘I am totally just like my mother.’ She enjoys this breakfast very much and drinks her tea without sugar.
My hubby (then boyfriend), did not comprehend how a normal person could perceive this as breakfast, let alone enjoy it. He didn’t think it was funny either. Fast forward to two weeks ago and he was requesting boiled green bananas for breakfast. “Who knew this day would ever come?” I thought to myself. The only question I had: Is he becoming my mother too?? Go figure.
In what ways does your character resemble your mother or father?? Please share….
Read this:My Jumia Kenya review from real life experience
Your happiness is your own responsibility. (Raha jipe mwenyewe)
This is something I have read and heard on many platforms and it has really stuck with me.
You cannot sit and wait for other people to make you happy. It is not only unacceptable, it is also unrealistic and impossible. Expecting others to make us happy is one of the major reasons most of us are always sad/angry…(at least most of the time).
It is too much of a responsibility to expect your husband or wife or friends to make you happy all the time. They will certainly disappoint you and you will die seeking something that you will never find.
After pondering on this fact for many days, it rang so true with my heart that I decided to take action and find happiness for myself. I have found simple and cheap (some don’t even require a single cent) ways to keep myself happy. In fact, am happiest when am not spending any money.
Here are some of the most meaningful ways I’ve found to give myself happiness:
- Dancing with my son. He is 2 and has no care in the world. When it comes to dancing, he will shake what his mama gave him (am a generous mama, so I gave him a lot), without thinking twice. You should see us on Friday and Saturday evenings grooving to the upbeat Mugithi tunes from bands that have made it their jobs to entertain us so well on Njata TV. True story. By 10.30p.m, we are extremely tired, but extremely happy too and the boost of positivity is enough to last me another week.
- Cooking. Many people mention this and it may be a cliche, but cooking is therapeutic. I love it. I enjoy mixing up ingredients and trying new things. I also love honoring my family’s requests for mandazi almost every weekend. I am in debt right now because I have failed to make mandazi for almost a month now.
- Reading. I love browsing through the internet and finding useful articles, but I mostly like to read real books, printed on real paper. There is something refreshing about the smell of a new book, and something wildly exciting about discovering the stories behind characters in a story. You should definitely try it. You will definitely forget your troubles and immerse yourself in the lives of other people. One of the books am really swooning over is the one below. I hear its really good, click on the picture and lets try it together.
- TV. This is my guilty pleasure, but I try not to overindulge. In fact, I watch only a handful of shows that I really like and am more into series and movies, as opposed to soap operas and that kind of stuff. My favorites right now are The Bachelor/Bachelorette, Tyrant, The Last Ship, and a few cooking shows that I watch online.
- Exercise. I’ve not been working out much lately, but I know how good I feel when I actually do it. Once you get the groove of exercising, it is not only healthy, it is also super fun. I especially like exercises that can be done at the comfort of the home. My son is my favorite workout partner and he already knows how to do push-ups and sit-ups, and he helps me count to ten, just to make sure I finish doing the sets.This book offers some simple, yet effective workouts and the added bonus is that it comes with a DVD.(Click on the picture for more info. What more motivation do you need?
- Swimming. I almost forgot to include this one, but I love it so much. There is nothing as refreshing as a swim on a hot summer afternoon. The fact that it burns a lot of calories, and keeps the heart healthy is an added advantage. The happiness is what we are after.
Are some of these things in your list of ways you give yourself happiness?? If not how do you do it?? Am open to more happiness tips, since life is too short to live a sad life.
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Today, I want to introduce you to the most gorgeous, brightest and beautiful colors on earth. I bet you already know it but you dont give it much attention. It is by far my favorite color and it is only fair to say that am obsessed!Lets hear it for YELLOW!!!
It does not matter what we are talking about, be it dresses, tops, shoes, interior decor, whatever: Yellow runs this place. I love the brightness and the sunshineness (is that a word???) of this color! Moreover, I think you can combine it with anything. But especially Grey. I dont know if its my love for Grey’s Anatomy or otherwise but I think a combination of two of my most favorite things is a good Combo. So after much thought an analysis, I think my wedding’s theme colors will be Yellow and Grey.
I digress!!,please forgive me. So I was talking about how Yellow can be combined with anything. Black, blue, purple, Green, Indigo (eeerrrr!!!) or any other colors that you might invent. I just love it and I welcome you on a joourney of how Yellow can be incorporated into your and my life!
1. To start a blog post. I laugh at myself right now!
3. Blazer, with jeans and stripped top. Beautiful. Chevron, grey and yellow, YES!!!! Lacy dress in a very light shade of yellow is gorgeous too.
4. And then there was Lace, Yellow Lace to be specific. And I fell in love. And we lived happily ever after!Nothing else to say!
5. Oh and just so you know, yellow is good for the house too. Just look at these accessories or beauties as I call them. Too awesome.
I think I’ll just relax and admire everything in yellow. I love yellow. It brightens my days even when it is just on the internet. I hope you discover the power of Yellow. And by the way, Yellow is my guiding word for this year: to brighten mine and other people’s lives and spread sunshine in our world.
The only way we can have more yellow right now is by listening to Coldplay’s; yellow. That way our world would be complete.
Love you and just so you know, I loved writing this post and I hope you enjoy reading it!
All pictures via
Am crazy tired today. Am just a few minutes away from jumping into bed with all clothes on. But then I thought to myself, ‘What kind of Wednesday would it be if I did not give you the pleasure of knowing what av been pinning this week?” The answer I gave myself was, ‘Not such a good one’. And here I am, pinning around and sharing it with you all. Enjoy my randomness
Enjoy the rest of the week!!!
In my quest to find endless happiness, I have noticed one thing that has been embroidered in our brains for so long. We want things to come first, then after we get those things, we always say we will get happy. Then the things come, we find faults in them and the happiness is sadly, very SHORTLIVED
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but we often repeat this process over and over again, expecting different results. Sorry to say this, but even a bird or even a monkey knows that doing the same thing over and over again, will only bring the same results.
Only after doing this many times and reading some very powerful books, did I realize that the journey to happiness is the opposite of what we have been doing. So, now I understand that my happiness comes first and the rest of the stuff comes later.
Right now I know that a car or a house will not make me happy. I know, I know, others will say that they would rather be sad in a mansion but really??? Do you really want to be sad in a mansion??? The mansion might seem like a good idea for the first few months but you get lonely, the sadness increases and you wish you were happy in a tiny hut.
Happiness is what each one of us is searching for and its as simple as a decision. When you decide to be happy, the stuff no longer dictates when or how happy you are. It is no longer about the car or the sofa or the I-Phone, it is about You. Now, you understand that even when I dont have the stuff, I can be happy and still enjoy my life. The knowledge that everything is Ok and will always be ok comforts you and you enjoy everyday. And as you enjoy each day, laughing and smiling, more good things will come your way and it will feel like your eyes have suddenly been opened to new beauty. And happily ever after will no longer seem like a dream but it will become a reality.
I love you and wish you a Happy Valentines.
Allowing is one thing that I have thought about for days and days. The kind of allowing I am talking about is the idea of giving permission to do something. It is the opposite of resistance.
Sometimes, when I just sit and start thinking of the days when I felt down or low or negative or just there, I find that I was holding some kind of resistance.
For example, when I let my roommate in campus make me angry by saying evil things about my friends. I figure out that I was allowing her to directly talk bad about my friends to me. I gave her permission to do so and therefore I resisted any good that could have come out from my conversations with her. I resisted the good, and therefore I gave permission for the bad to enter into my life.
Sometimes, we become so accustomed to resisting good that we search for things that will make us feel bad or guilty or sad. Some of us are addicted to bad. Every time they think, every time they speak, they allow more negativity, more sadness to infiltrate their lives.
But, is it possible to always allow the good?
It is absolutely possible to allow good in whatever we do. The only thing we gotta do is look out for ways and activities that will make us happy. When I find myself, resisting good and allowing sadness to infiltrate my life, I try to focus on the good things in my life. The things that I have been blessed with, the most important being life. My ability to breathe freely and to be healthy. That alone is reason enough for me to focus on good.
When we allow good, we let go of the idea that we should control everything and everyone. When I allow (give permission) good, I let God shower his blessings upon my life.
And suddenly, I become more aware of the different opportunities that God is opening up for my expansion. For my eyes to see and for me to experience in greater and more satisfying detail.
Allow good today, Let it infiltrate your life and stop resisting its impact upon your life.
I allow happiness, laughter, smiles, joy, abundance, success and satisfaction to enter my life now.
As mentioned in previous posts, there are certain beliefs that guide me thru life. One that I have discovered lately is that I am only responsible for my own thoughts, words and actions. Even if I go back to the moon and back, I can never control another person’s thoughts, words and actions.
I know this, but I still allow another person’s actions to influence my moods and happiness. I know sometimes, it is difficult to just be open about our feelings and our mistakes but today am gonna be vulnerable and expose my feelings.
Over the last couple of weeks, Mr b/f has really been acting weird and all crazy on me. Usually, it reaches a point where I just wanna talk and tell him all that is going on in my head. We then hold a meeting, where I do almost all the talking and at the very end, he says that he knows he is wrong and that he will put in more effort to make things better. We then go to sleep and the next day is as if nothing happened. Things get back to normal and its just like before we had the talk. Two days later, he does something that makes me angry and I cry, usually after he leaves for work. In the evening, we talk about it, he acts as if nothing happened and does not even apologize. The apology only comes when I ask about the same thing later. It has now become a cycle where I am only waiting for something else to happen, I cry, we talk and everything goes back to the way it was. I hate this situation and I know I deserve better.
However, one thing that I have realized is that I always hope that he will change and that he will show more willingness towards making things better. When he does not change, I then try to make him change by trying to treat him so nicely just to see if he will reciprocate.
But now am done, I have finally accepted that I cannot control his actions and that I cannot make him do something he does not want to do. Maybe he just does not want this to work or this is who he is. So, I accept it and I will not try to make him change any more. This does not mean that I do not love and care for him. In fact, I do, very much and this is why I will accept his choices. And then choose how I want to proceed with my life from there.
I have come to know that, we must always give the other person the freedom to make their own choices and if their choices do not make us happy, then we have a choice to make too. Look for something else or stay and accept that this is the person they have become.
I accept that I cannot change my boyfriend and I am not in any way responsible for the choices he makes. I am only responsible for my own choices.